A-Train's Monday Analysis: Wild Card Weekend

[IchabodCrane84]

What a complete disaster. Bucs’ defense gives up fifteen points at the end of the game and pretty much spells the end of the Buccaneers season. I don’t see us winning another game with as lazy and uninterested as our defense is at playing defense. Tristan Wirfs is out too. Both the Cardinals and Rams have a great defensive front. Whichever one we play is going to kill Tom.

Likes:
1.) Forget CD3, let’s call him CD-15. Only bright spot of the game was his fourth down stop and the refs are obviously biased. It’s a big game, he made a big play, and emotions are running high. Of course he’s going to take off his helmet. Stupidest rule in the game that isn’t called consistently.

Dislikes:
1.) Tristan Wirfs is hurt. Oh Wells.
2.) Right after Shaq’s pick Mike Evans puts the game away and the offense if off the field faster than my one night with Scarlett Johansson.
3.) Hollywood is so out of ideas. Expect a stupid ass follow up to the Kurt Warner movie with a Tom Brady – Rob Gronkowski origin story.
4.) So much is being said about Scotty Miller’s special teams play, but no one’s mentioning how Cockrell’s covering balls.
5.) Even though we completely eliminated the double score defer ball to the second half opportunity, we gave them too many opportunities to get it and that’s not going to stand against better teams.
6.) This game reminded me of Week 16 when the only Mike E to catch any balls was Mike Edwards.
7.) Whitehead is our best safety and I’m sure Licht will screw it up and let him walk.
8.) G. O. Bernard failed to reach a hundred yards again. Worst free agent signing ever. He’s had zero hundred yard games.
9.) Vaughn is like Charlie Sheen in Major League 2 where he’s found ball control, but lost that Wild Thing edge.

Random:
1.) Bruce Arians pulls a Javon Wims on Andrew Adams.
2.) Captain Fear with the game put away, chilling up in the pirate ship with the chicks in sports bras who like to twirl their shirts around. Only thing he’s missing is a Dos Equis and a great beard.
3.) They’re not even trying to hide it anymore. How obvious is it that the game is rigged? There’s a player named Gainwell.
4.) FOX off to a horrible start. Anybody see that first graphic? Tom Brady’s stats. States he’s first in all categories, yet lists him as #2 in TDs. Not only contradicts it’s own stats, but is factually inaccurate.
5.) “…With the almost late hit,” said Joe Buck. You mean the legal hit you shitty ass commentator?

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. I wouldn’t go that far, but I love all the personalities on this board. I am humble, don’t take offense to most stuff, and love a good joke. I have zero problem poking fun at others here as long as they know it’s all in good fun. Just like how this team knows it’s dominance doesn’t mean we pull players and take our foot off the gas. I’m so thrilled we’re moving on as I’m not ready to say goodbye to this season yet. Feels like we’ve struggled to get things rolling and Sunday we rolled. I want more as my itch hasn’t been scratched. Down a few offensive pieces I’m still ready to kick some ass come Sunday.

[Doooshnzl]

Perfect…

[Buc2]

Nice ATrain tribute.

[King Bootz]

Laughed the entire time reading this in what I think is @ATrain’s voice. Priceless! Thank you @IchabodCrane84

[Rocker]

probably my favorite one of the season. Thanks as always.

[Kress]

Laughed the entire time reading this in what I think is @ATrain’s voice. Priceless! Thank you @IchabodCrane84

I hear it, too. It's a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and Chris Tucker, right?

[King Bootz]

Laughed the entire time reading this in what I think is @ATrain’s voice. Priceless! Thank you @IchabodCrane84

I hear it, too. It's a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and Chris Tucker, right?

Yea, a screeching falsetto type of voice. With a lot of whine in it

[Pirate Life]

I hear it, too. It's a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and Chris Tucker, right?

Yea, a screeching falsetto type of voice. With a lot of whine in it

Urkel.

[Kress]

Yea, a screeching falsetto type of voice. With a lot of whine in it

Urkel.

No way, that's too relaxed. It's why I threw in Tucker. You need the whine and the hype.



Oh snap! Add in a pinch of Sam Kinnison.



Now we've got it.

Goddfied/Tucker/Kinnison. That's A-Train. Hear it in your head from now on.

[King Bootz]

He thinks Patrick Mahomes has an annoying voice. I think he's just hearing himself everytime he yells at the TV during State Farm commercials.

[Phantom]

That was great, thanks Ich

[Snake]

I love Scott Miller. That dude gets after it.

[Draftline]

Ooorsome

[Digital_Damage]

Lost it just reading the title.

[IchabodCrane84]

Thanks all as always. I try my best to stay out of the back-and-forths and refrain from the politics forum as IchabodCrane84 is about light heartedness and humor. I'd like to think ATrain/Lugz is as well and featuring him is all for comedy.

[Kress]

As they say: It's funny 'cause it's true.

[nybf]

[Buccabeer]

I challenge you to do a mdb1958 version next week. We won't understand it but it will be fun trying.

[IronDog]

As always, thanks Ichy. Surprised ATrain managed to find 1 Like.

[Babeinbucland]

Laughed the entire time reading this in what I think is @ATrain’s voice. Priceless! Thank you @IchabodCrane84

I hear it, too. It's a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and Chris Tucker, right?

More Mike Tyson

[Buc2]

I hear it, too. It's a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and Chris Tucker, right?

More Mike Tyson

Another cringe voice. The difference is that Mike would probably beat the shit out of you if you said something to him about it.

[Nobody]

More Mike Tyson

Another cringe voice. The difference is that Mike would probably beat the shit out of you if you said something to him about it.

You just gotta respect everybody’s indivisibles.

You know everybody’s got friends and entities…that’s no reason to put ‘em up on a pedicure!

[Buc2]

Another cringe voice. The difference is that Mike would probably beat the shit out of you if you said something to him about it.

You just gotta respect everybody’s indivisibles.

You know everybody’s got friends and entities…that’s no reason to put ‘em up on a pedicure!

Ha!

[Nobody]

You just gotta respect everybody’s indivisibles.

You know everybody’s got friends and entities…that’s no reason to put ‘em up on a pedicure!

Ha!

If you don’t know it, it’s a Dana Carvey stand up. One of the best impressions of all time (and hysterical)!

I love you Iron Mike (legit…one of my heroes)!

[The Outsider]

I challenge you to do a mdb1958 version next week. We won't understand it but it will be fun trying.

It will be entirely about fringe practice squad players on other teams.

[King Bootz]

I challenge you to do a mdb1958 version next week. We won't understand it but it will be fun trying.

It will be entirely about fringe practice squad players on other teams.

"Aaron Donald is okay. But we're lucky Josh Kennedy wasn't in there. He did work for SMU last year"